advice, anxiety & mental health posts, eating disorder, eating disorder posts, my thoughts, myself, Uncategorized

My one wish and dream was to lose weight 

In the past, every birthday candle I blew out, every shooting star i saw, every  11.11 and 22.22 i saw on the clock ans every time night before sleeping I would wish and hope to magically lose “just 5-10kg more “. I did not need to lose weight and I had no real reason for why I wanted to lose the weight, I just wanted to… I thought it would make me happier.  I thought that if I lost more weight, if I had less fat on my body I would suddenly be happier.

Each time I wrote my goals for the week or goals for my life the first thing I would write was to lose weight, second was to have no fat on my body and third for my family to be happy and healthy.

The thing I wished and wanted most in the world was to lose weight…. and even when I did lose weight it was never enough. Always 5kg more, Always felt I could and needed to lose more weight.

For so long it was my only goal and dream, later on that goal turned into “ I want to be happy “. I would cry myself to sleep and the only thought I had in my head that I wanted to be happy. I didn’t know how, but it was my goal and dream.

Now, 2017, when I think about my goals they are never to lose weight or look a certain way, instead my goals are to have my own place, to earn money doing a job I love, helping people as much as I  an and of course staying healthy and being happy.

Yesterday evening it almost shocked me when I realised that for so long in my life, even if it was years ago, I spent each night wishing to lose weight and/or look different, and those thoughts don’t even cross my mind  (unless it’s times like now when I realise I don’t think about those thoughts !)

Where am I going with this post? Well to say that weightless won’t necessarily make you happier.  Those 5kg you think you have to lose, do you really have to? What will happen if you lose those 5kg? For me, I thought I’d be happier, that somehow I’d be satisfied and life would be better, that was never the case, I always wanted to lose more weight.

Your every goal and dream shouldn’t be to lose weight or change appearance.  That drains you of energy, fills you with negativity and you never feel fully happy with yourself if you constantly think about how you need to or want to lose weight.  Life is so much more than your weight and appearance.

The first wish that pops into your head shouldn’t be “weight loss/change my body/have less fat etc” what about other goals in life? Your whole life can’t and shouldn’t revolve around your appearance.

Ask yourself, do you really need to lose weight? What difference will it make? Maybe instead your wish should be to love yourself and be happy with yourself, and then to put those dreams into action by learning to do those things.

Focus on your goals in life, what makes you happy and don’t put your happiness in your appearance because appearance changes from day to day and from year to year. Set up goals and dreams and remember that if the problem is in your head, then weightloss won’t make you happier.

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1 thought on “My one wish and dream was to lose weight ”

  1. I think todays society has a lot to blame for the mind set of women wanting to loose weight. You can`t go near a magazine shelf in the shops without seeing all the glossy magazines with some sort of weight loss feature on the front cover. As women we are constantly having it drummed into us that we aren’t good enough just as we are …that’s there room for improvement and unless we are embarking on some sort of health kick or diet we are lesser beings! Its important though that we try to move on from this and to learn to be happy as we are. So many years are wasted wishing you were someone else or had a better body – and as you say, changing your body doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness.

    Like

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