This isn’t the type of post i usually write or share but i felt the need to share my thoughts on this topic, just incase others can relate.
Sometimes when i think about consumerism and how much is bought and spent everyday i feel a little panicked. Or, part of me feels shocked at the amount that is bought and spent each day and most of it is most likely just spontaneous shopping. But the other part of me wishes i could be like that…. wishes that i could just go into a store and buy the thing i need or want.
I have money related anxiety. And it’s rather bad. I don’t know why i feel this way around money and my family keeps reminding me that i should be happy and grateful that i have money and actually CAN buy the things i need or want. Of course that doesn’t mean i should spend money recklessly, but that i should see the opportunities that money brings and be thankful that i can buy things. I have grown up with parents that have worked hard for their money, we’ve neither been poor or rich, but we’ve been able to have a summer vacation most years and we’ve had food on the table and new clothes when needed. An average family economy so to say, but i know my parents have worked hard for their money so even as a child i never wanted to spend my parents money. Instead i would save up all the money i had whether it was from work i did or money i got for my birthday or christmas. And then after saving up for months i would secretly go buy the thing i wanted so badly and not tell my parents because i didn’t want them to buy it for me.
I’ve always been a saver. I save all my money, which is a good thing. I realise that in the future when i plan to buy my own apartment, maybe my own car, maybe travel it is good to have a buffer and that’s why i don’t really spend money on things unless it is an absolute necessity, or something i really want and have planned for a long time such as a tattoo. Though i find it easier to buy gifts for others, spend money on tattoos and buy food but when it comes to material items such as clothes, shoes, plates, bed sheets i always feel like “is it really necessary?”…. i have 2 plates and 2 cups, i have one bed sheet do i really need more?
I have this constant anxiety related to money and can have full blown panic attacks just related to money such as if i really need or want something but don’t feel like i should buy it for some unknown reason then i can get alot of anxiety. Often i wish that i could just spend money and not care, but at the same time i know that saving money is going to benefit me in the long term because you never know what will happen and i rather not be in an emergency situation and not have any saved up money. But also knowing that if i need to make an investment into something whether it’s an apartment, car, my business etc then i will have the money for it. But it would be kind of nice to be able to just buy a new hair straightener or buy a new computer because mine is on its last lifeline and not feel the anxiety taking over each time i think about spending money.
Sometimes i wish consumerism wasn’t a thing, that money didn’t exist. I wish that people could just trade, do nice things and money wasn’t a thing. Of course i know that that would never work because people are greedy, not everyone would be a nice person or do nice things. But also because money is power…. that’s how i see it when i do my food shopping anyway, that by choosing vegan foods i am showing that there is an interest and demand for these products and less demand and interest for the non vegan foods. So money does have power and consumerism CAN make a change if it done right.
Also sometimes i feel so panicked when i think about how clothes and products are made and the child labour that is behind the items people buy. Most often the cheapest clothes are produced by workers with minimum wage and extreme work conditions… all of that so that you can buy a cheap top or pants. Of course that doesn’t mean that the super expensive clothes are any better, it can be just as awful work conditiions behind those clothes as well.
Consumerism and spending money… it is just one huge ball of anxiety for me. I don’t know if i will ever feel “ok” with money, i really shouldn’t let it control me, but sometimes it feels like i will always have anxiety when spending money, that it will never be “pain free” and simple. Or, i am ok with spending money on food because i see it as a necessity and something i enjoy and need but when it comes to everything else i just don’t see it as necessary… i could survive with 1 pair of pants and 1 top… but is that practical… no not really.
I don’t know why i am sharing this post or these thoughts, but maybe others can relate and have advice?
What are your thoughts about consumerism? What are your thoughts about spending money and are you a spender or a saver?