So I thought it was time to share a more personal post about how I’ve been feeling. The past 2 weeks I’ve been on antibiotics, something I don’t willingly take. Infact taking anti biotics is something I try to avoid at all costs and try alternative methods and pills first, however this time when I got sick and had 2 different bacteria in my lungs I had no other option but to take antibiotics and I’m thankful for them because they do work…. they kill the bacteria, however they also kill the good gut bacteria. And even if I take probiotics it can take 6-12 months before all the good but bacteria is replenished.
Having good gut bacteria is so important as it can impact so much such as your energy levels, hunger and cravings, mood, sleep, you can end up with Candida infection etc and I’ve noticed that each time I take anti biotics it impacts my mental health negatively as well as it messes up my stomach and I feel more tired and unmotivated. But the worst is how it makes me think and feel so negative…. I feel tired, unmotivated , get negative and depressive thoughts, feel negative about myself and my body. This is something i notice each time i have had to take antibiotics which is one of the main reasons i try to avoid them, because i know they end up affecting my mental health negatively.
These past 2 weeks i have been extremely bloated, had stomach pain and nausea and just had very bad body image. Usually bloating and water retention is nothing that bothers me because i know it happens and nothing i can really control. Sometimes bloating lasts 2 days, other times a whole week but it always goes away and i don’t let it control my thoughts or my day. But now when i was feeling generally low and negative the bloating got to me alot more and i began thinking, Maybe i should go on a diet… am i eating too much? Do i need to lose fat.
Of course i was quickly able to realise just how destructive and ridiculous those thoughts were. I am at a healthy weight, BMI and fat percent and nothing needs to change about that. But also the past 1,5 year my weight has stayed the same meaning that i am eating enough to maintain my healthy weight as well as all my blood results showing a healthy amount of all vitamins and minerals so nothing about my diet needs to change. But just for a short moment i thought weightloss and a diet would make me feel better about myself…. when in reality, i know it is just hormones and antibiotics affecting my thoughts and feelings. Luckily i could realise how irrational and ridiculous those thoughts were that going on a diet or eating less wouldn’t make me feel better about myself or make me feel happier.
And i can say, i have now been off anti biotics for a few days and taking a high dose (but still a healthy dose !) of pro biotics and i am already feeling more like myself again. More energetic, my appetite is more like usual and the negative thinking and feeling isn’t as bad as it was a few days ago.
I am lucky that i can think one step further than just “how i feel right now”, and instead analyze why i am feeling that way. I could have just decided right there and then that i should diet and lose weight because i “felt bad in my body”…. but when you think one step further you begin to question why you think you need to lose weight. Would it really make you happier, would it really make you healthier?
So many people think that weightloss and a diet will make them happier, but if the problem is in your head then weightloss won’t do anything but make you lighter and may even make your mental health worse. Of course for those who are overweight and medically need to lose weight then it’s another thing, but if you are normal weight and think that weightloss will make you happier then you need to question why you think that way.
So why am i sharing this post? I could have kept these thoughts to myself and not tell anyone, but i am sharing them to show that i am only human. I may be body positive and 95% happy in my body, but there are times like this when i feel negative about and in my body and think about going on a diet or losing weight… and for just a few moments thinking that weightloss or being skinny would make me happy. But i am also very good at questioning why and thinking one step further and asking myself why i think that way and what is the real reasoning behind those thoughts and most often it is tiredness, hormones or stress and when i am feeling very tired and run down and my body feels heavy, slow and bloated. But then the best thing to do is sleep, drink lots of water, eat lots of nourishing food, try to destress and get out for walks in nature and then i am soon back to my normal thoughts and feel good in my body again!
usually it is not your body or the way your body that looks that is the problem but the way you feel and what is going on in your head. Take a moment to ask yourself, are you stressed, anxious, tired, nervous? Have you eaten enough, slept enough, exercised? Have you drunk enough water and had time to relax? Have you taken your medication and pills? If you are feeling negative about your body try go out for a walk or listen to some good music or do something you love and just “use” your body. Often if you are feeling tired, heavy and slow it can cause negative body image thoughts or feelings, and then it can be helpful to try to just use your body a little more, try to find energy even if it’s just a 20 minute walk it can be helpful in appreciating your body or sometimes just stretching can be helpful to feel less ‘tight’.
Anyway, i felt the need to share these thoughts with you to show that i am human and we all have bad days or negative body image thoughts but it is important to not let them control you. To ask yourself what really matters and if weightloss really will make you happy or healthier. Also note, if the answer is yes, that weightloss will make you happier and healthier and be a positive factor in your life… then go for it. Weightloss doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but you have to have the right reasons for it. I.e if you are BMI 18 and you think you are “too fat” and think you need to lose 5kg, then no… that is not weightloss for the right reasons.
**Also, i think i have written a post about taking medication as a vegan, but i can write one again if you want. Because no, medications aren’t vegan or cruelty free, but it doesn’t make you any less of a vegan just because you need to take medications.