anxiety & mental health posts, lifestyle, my thoughts, myself, Uncategorized

Change is scary – Feeling both anxious and happy…..

I am so happy to finally announce that i have gotten my own student apartment!!! After more than 2 years of  moving apartments and just renting a room, i finally have my own place. (Well, in a few weeks!).

A few weeks ago i wrote THIS post, where i said i had looked at an apartment which i loved and ended up not getting and was very sad about. It was the perfect apartment for me right now in my life. I.e relatively cheap, a student apartment, bigger than previous student apartments i had looked at and also was unfurnished so i could have my own furniture. I felt sad and disheartened when i didn’t get the apartment but decided to  just keep searching… and then i saw that they were going to rent out even more apartments in the same building. Once again i got my hopes up, and 2 weeks of nervousness and anxiety began (one of the reasons i haven’t slept so well, haven’t focused so much on school and just needed to get out of Gothenburg to stop being so anxious and nervous.) Because first, it was a week of waiting to see if i would have enough queue days to be in the top 5 people to actually get an offer on the apartment. Then when i found out i was in the top 5 and got an offer on the apartment it was another week of waiting (after saying yes to 3 different apartments in the same location) to find out if i had gotten the apartment i.e either been first or second place in the queue. Then on Friday it was just a waiting game to see if had gotten the apartment or not…. And i did get the contract, which i am so so happy about.

I had tried to not get my hopes up, as it could have been that i didn’t get the apartment, but i had told myself that if i didn’t get the apartment i would book myself a tattootime and work on my half sleeve, so it would be win-win whatever the situation ,ahahhaha. But i am just glad i got the contract and will book a tattoo time some other time in the future!

Image result for tattoo money jar

Of course 1 thing that sucks is that i have 2 months notice period on my current apartment/room i am renting, which means double rent for 2 months… so i wish the process hadn’t been so long to find out whether i got the apartment or not.

Also 2, i now have to invest in a whole bunch of stuff as well as have about 3 weeks until i get the keys to the apartment and can move in. So need to 1) work out how i get my stuff from Stockholm to Gothenburg and whether my parents can help with that, 2) need to buy a whole bunch of furniture/kitchen items etc etc

I have to admit, i am both so happy and also scared/anxious at the same time. I am happy to finally have my own place (soon), but also anxious because once again i am moving. Moving to a new area of the city, new routines, new neighbours….. And i am going to miss where i live LIKE CRAZY. I love where i live… i love the neighbourhood, i love how close i am to the gym, to my school as well as i love the shop i live by which has SO MANY vegan foods. But also it has worked great living with my roomie.

However, no matter how great those thing are… having my own place outweighs all of those things. And even if i feel anxious, worried and nervous now… i know it will go away once i get settled in to my own place.

I guess change is always a little scary no matter what. And it is just the “pre”nerves and anxiety and i don’t even know why. I.e i love being on my own, i have no problem living on my own but suddenly all these “what if this goes wrong… ” or “what if this happens…” or “what if something breaks/doesn’t work and i can’t fix it etc” (and i have never had these thoughts before because i have always lived with someone else hahaha.) 

Image result for change is scary

I am also hoping i can focus a little more on my social media now… better photos, maybe youtube, maybe some live videos on instagram…. i have felt a little held back while living with others. Not being fully comfortable taking photos or filming while my roomie is home. Also having to rush everything while he isn’t home at having time to photo during day time etc He knows about my social media and follows me online (which is one of the reasons i didn’t write about me getting an apartment when i first knew, because i needed to tlak to him first – so he didn’t find out via instagram, hahah. That would not have been good.)

Both anxious and happy and trying to figure out the logistics of everything. As well as going into super economic mode hahaha. It will be potatoes, lentils and home soaked beans that will be 90% of my diet the next 2 months XD I guess the perfect time to write more posts about eating vegan cheap as well as getting enough nutrients – so let me know if that would be interesting (also if you actually made it this far in the post!)

 

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4 thoughts on “Change is scary – Feeling both anxious and happy…..”

  1. Oh I`m so happy for you! This is great news – your own apartment – your very own “space” to do what you want/when you want 🙂 You have waited a long time for this and I think it will be the making of you!
    Don`t worry too much about getting all the necessary stuff – get your “basic” furniture and the rest will happen over time. As long as to have the necessities you will be fine – putting a flat together for the first time is a progressive thing, when I started out I had a bed, something to sit on and the very basics in kitchen equipment – the rest I accumulated over time. And its surprising how many people have things they want to give you, and it all helps.
    Try not to dwell on the “what ifs” – they may never happen. Instead feel happy and excited that you have at last got your own place and this is the start of a new and positive chapter in your life! (Totally worth eating potatoes and beans for – and yes I would love to see your eating on a budget ideas 🙂 xxx

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  2. Ha, I knew it! I sent you a message on IG guessing if it was the new apartment that you were about to announce. And I was correct, yay!
    I’m truly happy for you. I believe you’ll be satisfied and the primarily anxsiousness will fade away as you’ll get more used to the whole idea of moving.
    Have a lovely day Izzy.

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