Life update – school, health, thoughts

Good morning everyone!!

Long time no life update? Or maybe it just feels like a long time for me…. Truth be told, i never actually look back on the posts once i have published them. I am still very much a mediocre blogger even after 8-9 years of blogging, hahah. It is still just a hobby for me and i write when i feel like it and get hit with creativity or inspiration. Some people think blogging is easy, but it definitely isn’t… you don’t always have something to write about. And as i have chosen to not share every detail about my private life or what i am doing each day there is even less to post about on a daily basis.

Onto my life update…. Well, my previous course is done and i did my test last week and all the seminars and assignments over with. And now onto a new course. All i can say about the course so far is that it will be ALOT of work and i feel like the whole of April is just going to fly by and most of it will be spent in school infront of my computer working on assignments or in lectures or in seminars, or working on the numerous group projects i have. So safe to say… this will be a very busy 4 weeks of school work.

Mentally…  Feeling very tired and unmotivated. This whole year i have just felt unmotivated and tired and not like myself…. and i really can’t pinpoint what it is and why i feel this way. But 3 months of feeling this way and it feels like my thinking of “next week i will feel better” is beginning to drag out…. But i don’t really feel like writing anymore about this, but i thought i would just mention it.

Also mentally i have realised that my self esteem is definitely not where it should be or where i want it to be right now…. all these doubts and fears and self esteem holding me back. But i thought i would write a separate post about this.

Otherwise…..  Well, updating my CV and personal letter to apply for jobs for summer. Applying to both food stores but also different businesses that work with health, so i am really hoping i get a place to work there… to just start with health coaching or giving nutrition advice. Start using my knowledge! Of course it also scares me…. i have begun to realise that it is a rather huge responsibility to work with people and their health… to encourage and inspire and motivate people to make a change and to want to get healthy and live healthy.  Sometimes it feels like it is easier to just work in a food store and not have so much responsibility, but i am also looking forward to working with what i truly love and hopefully make a difference in people’s lives… helping people to change their lives for the better!

 

As i write this it is only 4 days until i get the keys to my apartment. 5 Days until i move my stuff, but i might not officially move in and sleep in my apartment until a week from now…. but i am excited!  Also the list of things to buy which i hadn’t even thought about or thought i needed is just adding up…. But i will buy things over time and as i really need them. I.e measuring cups and a kettle aren’t my first priority when it comes to buying kitchen necessities hahha.

So life in general…. well, i  am far too focused on the future and having alot of nostalgia and looking back on the past and past memories, which is nota good thing.  I am not so focused on being in the present or living life in the moment. Far too many things i want to do with my life and goals i want to reach so i am stuck in the future, but forgetting that i need to be present on work on those goals Right Now to actually reach them in the future. And i need to stop looking back in the past thinking that old memories were better than they actually were…. it’s funny how the brain can turn rather awful times and bad memories into ones that don’t seem like they were so bad.

Goals for the week are to not stress, work hard in school, take time to rest, spend time with  family next weekend and just making the best out of each day!

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Yaya says:

    I’m sad to hear that you don’t feel so well right now, but just know that better times will come ❤ I would suggest you to not put too much pressure on yourself, you are still so young! Maybe just focus on your studies and not so much about your future career, that will sort out in the end anyway. I understand that you have a passion for this and you want to do many things at once, but keep in mind that you have struggled with several mental illnesses so you are already quite sensitive to a high workload. Focus on doing less instead of more and do more of the things that brings you joy with no pressure. I would suggest to not study during the weekends at all. They are made for us to rest up and do other stuff to get ready for the next week of work! Spend time in nature, see friends, read a book, take naps and sleep in the mornings. Life is so much more than the "must do's". I think it will give you new experiences and perspectives on life 🙂 Take care and know it's okay to "just be" 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for your comment and your words. The weekend is the most important day of study for me, but i am trying to take atleast one day during the weekend to either just rest or do things i enjoy like baking, cooking, being out in nature, going for a walk with friends etc It is always this period of the year when you are tired of the cold and dark days and you need to start focusing on summer and summer jobs but also focus on schowol work etc so it just becomes alot at once. But i am feeling better now and feel more in control over everything – but of course taking more time to rest and self care! Hope you are doing ok!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. carol says:

    I myself often find it difficult to remain motivated and positive at this time of year – it seems as though it has been a long winter, too many cold and dark days – it all effects my general mood and well being. But summer is on its way and hopefully a lift in spirits!
    The time of year, your studies and impending move are a lot to deal with so try not to be hard on yourself. You are living with a lot of stress at the moment it is no wonder you feel out of sorts. Just do the best you can each day and make time to rest or do something you enjoy. “me time” is very important when you have so much other things going in your life!
    I hope once you have actually moved things will settle down a bit for you and you will begin to feel better – moving house is very stressful!
    In the meantime though take care of yourself and try to take each day as it comes. Have a lovely time with your family and enjoy the break. Are you going to make an Easter cake this year?

    Like

    1. Thank you 🙂 I am longing for summer and hoping i will feel better then. Today was the first day i woke up feeling happy in a long time, so hopefully positive energy is on the way ,haha! I hope you are doing ok ❤
      I don't know if i am going to make an easter cake this year or not… i want to, but as i will just have moved and won't really have any food or cake making stuff (i.e bowls, measuring cups etc) it might be more of a challenge. But who knows…. also depends how long my family stay. If they leave in the morning on Sunday then it is no point making a cake. There is always next year!

      Liked by 1 person

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