Self esteem defined as:
Recently i have been reminded of how low self esteem i actually have…. how much it holds me back in life.
I don’t believe in myself or my capabilities. I always talk down about myself and my capabilities. Constantly say and think, i am not good enough, i can’t do it, someone else is better. Instead of giving myself reasons why i can succeed and why i am good at what i do or want to do, i instead give myself 100 reasons why i amn’t good enough and why i can’t and won’t succeed.
It is tiring to not be able to lift myself or my talents. To always feel like i am not good enough and everyone is better. It stops me from even trying because i always think, i won’t succeed and someone else out there can do it better than me.
It stops me from starting new projects. It stops me from applying to jobs. It stops me from trying new things.
This is not how i want to live my life. I want to start believing in myself. In someone compliments me i want to believe them and say thank you, not just want to hide and think they are lying.
I want to believe in myself and stop holding myself back.
My low self esteem issues aren’t something new, i have had them almost all my life (or as far as i can remember anyway) so it is not going to take a week to solve my self esteem issues. It will be a daily thing, and to work on my self esteem… begin to lift myself, my capabilities and talents and stop holding myself back.
I must admit i am also scared of failing…… sometimes i don’t try things or i hold myself back because then i won’t have to deal with being bad or failing at something. But you know what… mistakes help you grow. You learn from mistakes. And someone who has failed and learnt and grown has so much more experience and knowledge compared to someone who never tries or always plays it safe.
You can’t always be good at everything, but you can learn, grow and get better – and that is my goal. To not be scared of failing.
So how do you improve self esteem? Well, if i knew this i wouldn’t have self esteem issues, hahah. But the things i am going to work on are….
- Not compare myself. I don’t compare myself physically with others, but i do compare my talents and achievements with others. Constantly thinking others are better and more talented than me. Thinking that everyone else can achieve their goals but i can’t….. it is tiring to think this way. (Because the truth is, we can all achieve our goals! And i know this…. but i just always feel like i can’t achieve my own goals.)
- To not be scared to try new things or scared to fail. Begin to say yes…. who cares if i amn’t good at it, i will learn and get better, if not…. it will be a learning experience. I don’t have to be good at everything. Begin to say yes to more experiences…. if i get offers or opportunities, don’t say no just because i think i amn’t good enough… instead see it as a learning process.
- Stop trying to be perfect and have everything be perfect. I am a perfectionist in some areas of my life…. not all areas, just when it comes to work and school work. And this of course can be a good thing, but at times it just makes a short process take even longer and i never feel satisfied because i feel like i could always do better. I am beginning to just settle at doing good enough…. not everything can be perfect and it doesn’t have to be either.
- Begin to believe in myself and the compliments i am given. If someone says i am smart – believe them. Also believe in myself…. In the past – during my recovery – i began to say nice things about myself everyday, or at least every week. To improve my self image and self esteem ,but over the years i have stopped doing this regularly. But now i want to get back to saying nice things about myself daily… to lift myself and my capabilities. To begin to believe in myself and what i can achieve. To believe i can reach my goals and not find 100 reasons why i can’t or why i shouldn’t even try.
- I want to stop being critical of myself and finding flaws.Once again – remind myself i am good enough and can achieve the goals i have set for myself.
- Change negative/belittling thoughts to more positive and uplifting ones. Instead of thinking that i amn’t good enough and won’t succeed, change those thoughts to reasons why i CAN succeed and why i AM good enough.
A daily mantra of: I am good enough. I can succeed. I will succeed. I can and i will.
It will be an everyday process… slowly but surely focusing on changing my mindset and thoughts. Improving my self esteem! This will hopefully stop me from doubting myself so much and begin to “Just do it”. Not hold myself back so much in life!
If you struggle with low self esteem, i suggest you join in on this and focus on some of the things i listed above as well. Or maybe you have other suggestions and tips which i can try and focus on to improve my self esteem 🙂
Let’s get more confident and begin to believe in ourselves and work hard towards our goals so we can and will succeed… but most importantly, not be scared to try or fail either – it is a learning experience!