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Dealing with low self esteem & 6 tips to increase self esteem

Self esteem defined as:

self esteem

 

Recently i have been reminded of how low self esteem i actually have…. how much it holds me back in life.

I don’t believe in myself or my capabilities. I always talk down about myself and my capabilities. Constantly say and think, i am not good enough, i can’t do it, someone else is better. Instead of giving myself reasons why i can succeed and why i am good at what i do or want to do, i instead give myself 100 reasons why i amn’t good enough and why i can’t and won’t succeed.

It is tiring to not be able to lift myself or my talents. To always feel like i am not good enough and everyone is better. It stops me from even trying because i always think, i won’t succeed and someone else out there can do it better than me.

It stops me from starting new projects. It stops me from applying to jobs. It stops me from trying new things.

This is not how i want to live my life. I want to start believing in myself. In someone compliments me i want to believe them and say thank you, not just want to hide and think they are lying.

Image result for low self esteem

I want to believe in myself and stop holding myself back.

My low self esteem issues aren’t something new, i have had them almost all my life (or as far as i can remember anyway) so it is not going to take a week to solve my self esteem issues. It will be a daily thing, and to work on my self esteem… begin to lift myself, my capabilities and talents and stop holding myself back.

I must admit i am also scared of failing…… sometimes i don’t try things or i hold myself back because then i won’t have to deal with being bad or failing at something. But you know what… mistakes help you grow. You learn from mistakes. And someone who has failed and learnt and grown has so much more experience and knowledge compared to someone who never tries or always plays it safe.

You can’t always be good at everything, but you can learn, grow and get better – and that is my goal. To not be scared of failing.

Image result for low self esteem

So how do you improve self esteem? Well, if i knew this i wouldn’t have self esteem issues, hahah. But the things i am going to work on are….

  1. Not compare myself. I don’t compare myself physically with others, but i do compare my talents and achievements with others. Constantly thinking others are better and more talented than me. Thinking that everyone else can achieve their goals but i can’t….. it is tiring to think this way. (Because the truth is, we can all achieve our goals! And i know this…. but i just always feel like i can’t achieve my own goals.)
  2. To not be scared to try new things or scared to fail. Begin to say yes…. who cares if i amn’t good at it, i will learn and get better, if not…. it will be a learning experience. I don’t have to be good at everything. Begin to say yes to more experiences…. if i get offers or opportunities, don’t say no just because i think i amn’t good enough… instead see it as a learning process.
  3. Stop trying to be perfect and have everything be perfect. I am a  perfectionist in some areas of my life…. not all areas, just when it comes to work and school work. And this of course can be a good thing, but at times it just makes a short process take even longer and i never feel satisfied because i feel like i could always do better. I am beginning to just settle at doing good enough…. not everything can be perfect and it doesn’t have to be either.
  4. Begin to believe in myself and the compliments i am given. If someone says i am smart – believe them. Also believe in myself…. In the past – during my recovery – i began to say nice things about myself everyday, or at least every week. To improve my self image and self esteem ,but over the years i have stopped doing this regularly. But now i want to get back to saying nice things about myself daily… to lift myself and my capabilities. To begin to believe in myself and what i can achieve. To believe i can reach my goals and not find 100 reasons why i can’t or why i shouldn’t even try.
  5. I want to stop being critical of myself and finding flaws.Once again – remind myself i am good enough and can achieve the goals i have set for myself.
  6. Change negative/belittling thoughts to more positive and uplifting ones. Instead of thinking that i amn’t good enough and won’t succeed, change those thoughts to reasons why i CAN succeed and why i AM good enough.

 

A daily mantra of: I am good enough. I can succeed. I will succeed. I can and i will.

It will be an everyday process… slowly but surely focusing on changing my mindset and thoughts. Improving my self esteem! This will hopefully stop me from doubting myself so much and begin to “Just do it”. Not hold myself back so much in life!

If you struggle with low self esteem, i suggest you join in on this and focus on some of the things i listed above as well. Or maybe you have other suggestions and tips which i can try and focus on to improve my self esteem 🙂

Let’s get more confident and begin to believe in ourselves and work hard towards our goals so we can and will succeed… but most importantly, not be scared to try or fail either – it is a learning experience!

Image result for success

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6 thoughts on “Dealing with low self esteem & 6 tips to increase self esteem”

  1. Hey Izzy, I’m sorry your going through a hard time with low self esteem and anxiety. I use to read your old blog and you’ve already overcome so much in your life, you can totally beat this too!

    I know you don’t like to post a whole lot about eating disorders on this blog so I’m sorry about my question.. I’ve been trying to recover from anorexia for just over a week and have experienced extreme hunger, the first 5 days I was consuming 4-4500 calories a day.. comfortably and I was okay with it.. I was eating intuitively and felt really quite good to be honest but then on the weekend I stayed at my parents which sometimes seems to trigger a binge and I consumed 8350 calories in one day! The next 5800 (it wouldn’t of been that much if I didn’t come home and eat the rest of my ‘recovery’ food with plans to lose the weight gain again).. Monday I had 2500 (I fasted until after lunch then nearly passed out so I went and brought food and after that regained my recovery mindset and went for cake after school because I promised my son and then at dinner and a snack with him during the night), yesterday I had 2150 and today I have planned to finish on 1500 and my mind is convincing me to get back into restriction.. because of this extreme hunger I’ve gained 3kg in just over a week and I’m finding it hard to deal with now. I want to recover but it’s hard to endure the fast weight gain because of the extreme hunger and not go back to restriction. I feel embarrassed by it and like everyone is judging me because of it.
    Did you experience extreme hunger? How did you cope?
    Any advice of ways to cope would be appreciated but I totally understand if you don’t respond being that this isn’t your eating disorder blog and you also sound like you’re going through a difficult time.

    I hope your feeling better soon x

    Like

  2. Next time an offer/opportunity/invite comes your way and you begin to say “no” or doubt your capabilities to partake in it just ask yourself “what is the very worst thing that could happen?” You could try writing down on paper what you think would be the worst case scenario if you tried/accepted the opportunity – then alongside each negative answer write a positive outcome too, asking yourself if you really think the negative answers are true.
    eg – ” I can`t possibly accept this offer of a new job because I`ll be useless at it”
    – I know I`ll be totally useless at it. There are others more qualified than me. someone else could do it better than me. I know I`ll mess up and make an idiot of myself
    becomes –
    How do I really know I`ll be useless if I haven’t even tried?
    I am just as qualified/more so than other people – I must be because I have been offered the job
    How do I know someone else could do it better? what is wrong with the way I would do it?
    I don`t know for sure that I`ll make mistakes, and if I do I`ll learn from them. Making a mistake is not a failiure and nothing to be ashamed of.

    Try to balance out the negative thoughts with a positive, questioning whether you really think the negative is true. Doing this regularly over time will change your mindset and help you become more able to accept opportunities and to believe in yourself.
    I did some work on this during my depression and it really helped me. Now I don`t need to write things out, as soon as a negaitive thought pops into my head I counteract it with a positive.
    It does take time to change your mindset but it can be done! You have overcome so much in your life already I just know you can beat this too. Try reading books / listening to podcasts about self esteem issues and building confidence – there are some very good self help books available. Also buying a book of daily inspirational and positive quotes is a good idea – you read a new one each day and spend some time thinking about it.
    I hope this helps you a little and maybe gives you some ideas to try xxxx

    Liked by 2 people

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