I have been meaning to write this post for so long and i don’t know why i can’t seem to formulate myself properly. I keep holding myself back, having doubts and wanting to make sure i don’t write anything wrong.
In the past i could freely write about body image, my thoughts, write about self love and my body… but now i feel like i have these barriars in the way which hold me back. Not wanting me to write about body image. Mostly i am thinking about, who will read this post… will i be judged…. what if potentiell partners or managers read this, what will they think?
It is easier to just write recipes, nutrition posts and vegan posts… but harder to write about sensitive things like body image, even if i think this topic and subject is so extremely important. And i have also built my social media on being open and honest and writing about self love, body image and learning to love yourself and live life. So i feel like i also need to write about this topic when these thoughts appear.
So recently i have been struggling with my body image…. not feeling comfortable in myself or my body. It goes in phases… and most often these feelings and thoughts appear because of stress, tiredness, anxiety or hormones. And the feelings can last from 24 hours to 2-4 weeks. It is unsettling and tiring to feel uncomfortable in your own skin for several weeks… but i know that sooner or later it will pass and i will be back to feeling like myself again.
I preach about self love and the importance of self love. But the truth is… sometimes you just need self acceptance. Sometimes you don’t love the way you look, or you don’t love your body image. But the best thing you can do is to just accept your body and accept the way you look. Tell yourself, I am healthy and have a functioning body and all i can do is accept my body as it is while i work on self love.
Self love is hard. It takes time to learn to love yourself… not just your physical appearance, but also who you are. To learn to love all of yourself, both the positives and the negatives… but also to work on yourself. To work on the “flaws”. And when i say flaws i don’t mean physical flaws, but sometimes you have certain traits you might need to work on and not just “accept”.
I.e are you always late, or always very negative…. then maybe those are traits you need to work on and improve yourself and not just accept them. Self love is also admitting to yourself when you need to change or when you need to let go. Self love is about doing what is best for your and caring for yourself and that can mean changing things in your life or your behaviour or your mindset. It can mean changing behaviours or saying no to people or situations – caring for yourself.
Self love is important. But so is self acceptance.
Sometimes you just need to accept that… “my nose looks like this and i just need to accept it, even if i might not love it right now.” or… “my voice sounds like this, and it is ok…. i need to just be ok with that”.
Sometimes self acceptance is easier than self love.
Sometimes you just need to say…. “this is how i am, this is how i look and i am ok with that. I might not love it, i might not love myself right now… but i am ok with it.” This can of course be extremely hard. But it can be the first step towards self love.
I wish i could give you all some amazing advice about how to love yourself or accept yourself, but it is a process.
It is about looking in the mirror and saying positive things about yourself.
It is about changing the negative thoughts to positive thoughts.
It is about being honest to yourself about the behaviours or thoughts you need to change.
It is about improving yourself where you can and when it is possible.
It is about doing what is best for you and your health, including mental health and not feeling bad about self care.
It is about not letting anyone bring you down and not letting mean comments or toxic people affect you.
It is about being kind to yourself and cutting triggers or triggering things/people out of your life.
Overtime you begin to accept yourself as a person and who you are and begin to love yourself.
And on the days you don’t love yourself you can just accept yourself… accept yourself as you are. Or you need to just say to yourself… if i can’t accept or love myself, what is it i need to change and why?
Sometimes being honest to yourself about “why you want to change” or “why you can’t love yourself” you can come to the conclusion that 1) changing won’t make you happier or 2) it is infact something you should or need to change and there is a valid reason for it.
I.e, thinking that weightloss will mean you have more friends or that changing your personality completely will make more people love you isn’t always a valid reason for change and that you won’t infact be more happy or have more friends just because you lose weight or try to be someone else.
Self acceptance is key, but that also means being aware of what things you do that are self destructive or negative and need to be changed to improve yourself and your life.