Summer is usually a time of “carpe diem” and living life – no stress.
And for some, summer is a time of anxiety and stress because of body image – not enjoying the warm weather or having to show off skin.
I feel a bit of both for summertime (though not about the body image problems, luckily i no longer struggle with body image or feeling bad about my body image/comparing, or wearing summer clothes.)
For me… summer is my favourite month. I love the sunshine, i love being out in nature, i love going for long walks outside, lying in the sun, having picnics, wearing shorts and tank tops. I love summer. But it also contributes to alot of anxiety for me.
I personally feel this pressure that once the sun is shining, i have to be outside enjoying it… almost feel guilty if i am inside watching netflix and the sun is shining outside. I am pretty sure other people who live in colder climates can relate to this… when you have almost a 6-7 month winter/cold season, it feels strange to be inside watching series when the sun is finally shining.
So, i want to be outside as much as possible, but i also want to work as much as possible. 1) Because i do enjoy working alot, 2) I don’t think i could manage having a completely free summer if i wasn’t going to travel or have some type of work. I would get too restless to just have nothing planned and everyone else was working, and 3) i want to earn alot of money.
So i want to be in the sun as much as possible but also work as much as possible – doesn’t really go together unless you get a job that you can be outside for (which i don’t have… but maybe i should have applied for, haha).
But then there is also the pressure to be doing lots of things…. to meet friends, have picnics, have barbeques, travel, party, go out and dance and drink… life life. This pressure to do things and have an amazing summer. But the truth is, for the past 2 summers i have just worked and barely met friends – spent alot of time on my own, and this summer will most likely be the same.
And well , i can’t help but compare myself to others…. to people who travel, who spontaneously do things, who always meet friends and do things together. Sure me and my friends have tried to plan activities this summer, but i know that it is easier said than done when some work mornings, some work evenings, some have 1 day free and others have 4 days free.
I personally feel like i should be doing things… living life in summer. But if you don’t work you don’t have money to do things… so first you work, then you do things (or well, that’s my life anyway).
Summer is alot less stressful than during winter and spring when i have school. But there is still anxiety in summer… but it is not the same type of anxiety as in winter/autumn/spring.
In the colder months it is a sort of heavy anxiety, more negative and tired. While in summer it is more of a lighter anxiety and pressure to be doing things, having a great summer and just more of a general life/comparing anxiety compared to in winter when it is stress combined with anxiety.
However… my anxiety goes in phases… i don’t always have anxiety. Sometimes it is worse and sometimes i don’t have it at all. At the moment i constantly feel anxious – but not the heavy/depressed/overstressed anxiety, just an overthinking sort of anxiety and worry.
So why am i writing this post…. well because others might feel the same or be in the same situation. As mentioned, many can dislike summer because it is either too warm or because of body image problems… but i love summer, i just feel very anxious at the same time, and i wanted tos hare my thoughts and feelings.
It is hard to explain all my thoughts and feelings, and topics like this are much better suited in video format according to me because then you can see me explain and see my body language and such, but for now it will have to do with text format.
If you feel the same way about summer – let me know, or share your thoughts. Maybe we can give each other advice and tips or just help others feel not as alone!!