Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. Infact i am someone who loves my alone time and it takes special people to get me to give up my alone time to be with others.
I am very introverted…. or well, i would say i am an ambivert, because when i am with the right people, or when i am comfortable with friends, new people or my family i am very open and talkative. When i first meet people i can give the impression that i am withdrawn, silent and maybe even shy when infact i am just observative and choose my words. I might not open up fully until i feel comfortable… but then once i am comfortable my sarcastic humor and my joy for deep conversations and even just talking about everything and anything will begin to show.
What i wanted to write about in this post is about spending alot of time on your own. Maybe you don’t have alot of friends, maybe you are just very introverted or maybe you don’t have time to meet friends and miss out on social events. I would say that i am all 3…. i have a few close friends, i am rather introverted and like my alone time and this summer i am working a whole bunch so don’t always have time to meet when my friends are free from work. So that means that this summer i will spend alot of time on my own.
This isn’t something i am worried or feel anxious about. Infact i like being alone… i have my routines, i have my habits and i am constantly connecting and talking with people online and talk to my mum on a weekly basis so i don’t feel alone, even if it can go several days where i haven’t talked to anyone. Though of course with work, i can constantly be “talking” (i.e saying hi, have a nice day, and how much everything costs) for 8 hours… but there are no real conversations.
I don’t mind this… but i also know that i need to meet friends. I need to spend time with people who i can talk to about my life or my problems or just sit and laugh with.
If you are someone like me, who enjoys there time alone a little too much .Or who doesn’t feel the need to meet others to be happy, i would suggest… atleast try, a few times a month to meet friends or family.
To meet people who you can talk and socialize with. It is so easy to lose focus on real life and real people, especially if you are someone like me who uses alot of social media. Because it can feel like i am constantly talking with people when i infact haven’t spoken a word all day. And that can be very isolating in the long term. It is important to meet people in real life, to continue developing social skills.
If you feel like you don’t have close friends and that is why you are always alone, maybe you can start a new hobby or join a group and try to make friends that way. Even some local FB groups you can make “friend advertisements” and see if you can find people who want to meet you in your city (of course, there are pros and cons to this).
Try to make an effort to meet people a few times a month, because it is positive for your mental health. So maybe call an old friend, meet a family member or why not go on a Tinder date if you are confident enough for that! ( I have personally gone on a few Tinder dates just to meet people every now and then even if it isn’t anything serious, it is also a good way to step outside of my comfort zone and learn new people. So now i don’t even find it nerve wrecking to go on “blind dates”).
It is ok to be introverted. It is ok to enjoy your alone time. Just make sure you aren’t isolating yourself or spending all your time alone.
I also admit i do get jealous over people who have lots of friends or are always doing things with friends. I sometimes wish i had a huge friend gang which i could spend time with, but i don’t easily make close friends and sometimes have my guard up a little too much to let people into my life, which also makes it hard to make friends. So i just want to say that if you are like me and don’t have alot of friends… it is ok. And know that even those who seem to have a huge friend circle, they don’t always have close friends. And well… some people just make friends easier than others, and i don’t actually have any tips to make close friends apart from just putting yourself out there, meeting new people and trying to be open and open to making friends!
Also a tip, you can always combine things like going for a walk with a friend to both get a workout in and meet a friend (if you don’t have alot of time.) or schedule a lunch date so you can eat lunch and meet someone/a friend!
This is just some thoughts i have had recently. One of the things i like about school is that it means i meet friends every week when going to lectures or seminars. But during summer it is always so hard to meet because of different work schedules and people travelling away, not to mention that i amn’t the best at keeping in contact. So one of the best tips i can give as well… is to try to stay in contact. Whether it is via FB messenger, instagram or snapchat. Just try to keep a regular contact with people so that it is easier to just spontaneously meet and catch up!