Yesterday duringmy workshift I ended up with a lot of stomach pain and went into this bubble of “it hurts so badly… do I ask to go and get a painkiller?” “Do I ask to go home early?”
Constant thoughts of pain and just telling myself how badly it hurt and how ill I felt. However as I only had a few hours left and I wanted to work I just kept going and instead distracted myself by talking to my colleagues. (Note, I could have gone and gotten a painkiller if I wanted but I don’t like taking them if it isn’t seriously bad and I thought I would wait it out and see if it got worse.) However after a while of working and distracting myself I got out of that bubble of pain I was in and suddenly the pain was gone…. Or atleast not as bad.
And that got me thinking…. Often times when you are in pain you go into the bubble of pain and just tell yourself “I am in so much pain” over and over… or example when you are sick with a cold you often think, “wow I am so sick”. (Or I am the opposite, even when I have a cold I keep telling myself I am healthy and not sick….. which isn’t always a good thing, hahaha. But I do listen to my body and when I know I am sick, then I do all those “get better from a cold things”).
But it is not just with pain and colds… but even with depression and eating disorders and other illnesses. It is easy to go into this bubble of, “I am a depressed person”…. “I am so depressed”, and it is like you repeat it over and over to yourself and it also becomes your identity. You are the depressed person. Or, you are the person with an eating disorder…. Thee eating disorder is you. When that isn’t true at all.
One of the things you need to do in recovery is break free from that identity you have with the illness. To realise that you are not the illness and that you are so much more than the “sick person”. You have personality traits, habits, features which are not the illness… the illness does not define you either. You need to step outside of the bubble and not stop defining and identifying yourself as the sick person or the person with depression/an eating disorder.
It is so hard to explain and describe in words, but it is like you go into this bubble and you keep thinking over and over that you are depressed and it just becomes who you are and it is hard to break free.
Like with pain…. Example, say you have stubbed your toe and it really hurts but then you get a papercut moments later and it is like you toe stops hurting. Or if you have a headache and then something happens in life which you need to focus on and suddenly your headache is gone…. (or you don’t focus on it so you forget about the headache and pain.)
I guess what I am saying is that, what you focus on and what you give your attention to is what you become. The thoughts you focus and keep thinking and the ones that grown and flourish…. So keep your thoughts positive and nourish the positive thoughts. The more negative thoughts you think the more room they take up in your mind and they are the ones that etch into your brain and stick with you. Focus your attention on positive thoughts and don’t let the negative thoughts grow or take up space in your brain.
But this also goes for goals…. if you constantly think and focus on reaching your goals and dream life, eventually you will. Sometimes when i think back to all the goals i had several years ago and realise that i have achieved 75% of them, it is crazy. But i think it is also because i have focused on them so hard and gone from goals to reality! I only allow positive thoughts to take up space in my mind, and that is what i choose to “Nourish!”
I hope this makes sense, hahah.