Hello and good afternoon!
Inspiration has been lacking, anxiety has been on top and motivation has been no where to be found – for pretty much all areas in my life.
My humor, mood and energy levels have been up and down the past few days.
I think i am in this weird transitional phase where summer is passing and it is getting colder and darker and school is beginning soon, and i guess i just can’t seem to let it go that summer is over. But also because i am neither working or studying at the moment i feel sort of routineless and restless, just waiting for school to begin again. But i don’t even know when i begin because i am going to be studying one course online and another course in my uni city. I feel like i am just waiting for the school term to begin, waiting to get my schedules, waiting until i can get some type of mental control and planning over my life because right now i am just waiting, and i think that is one of the things causing my anxiety.
But i don’t want to make this post too negative, so instead going to share 5 of the thoughts i have had today/the past few days that i wanted to share!
One. I have had a sort of “Hallelujah for living in Sweden” feeling recently. Not only do i love Sweden, but i am so grateful of our healthcare system. Sure there are problems with the healthcare system, and the care for mental health isn’t the best. But i am lucky that i have a healthcare card so that i can get all the medicine i need. And then i have had a second “Hallelujah” moment for the fact that medicine actually works…. sure it may not be vegan because it is tested on animals, but to finally be able to breath and feel like a functioning human being because of medicine is an amazing feeling.
Two. I haven’t been in the city all summer, well apart from once or twice, but otherwise i have avoided it. But today i had to head into town and i realised just how much crowds and people, and the city stress me out and give me anxiety. I think it was worse because i was already feeling anxious and haven’t been in the city for several weeks….. but there is something about huge crowds and lots of people everywhere that just stress me out. Once school begins again and i need to travel into town weekly, i am sure i will get more used to it again, haha.
^^I had lunch with a girl who recently started studying in the same uni city and she follows me online. It was so lovely and she is also vegan and interested in nutrition, so there was alot to talk about!!! If you ever want to meet me, it is just to reach out to me. It’s actually alot of fun – and nervwracking – to meet new people. (Even if it also feels strange because you usually know more about me than i know about you!)
Three. I am excited to begin studying again. Nervous because i am studying 150%, i.e a normal term is 30HP, but i am studying 45HP. I don’t know how it will go with time management and all the assignments, but i am hoping it will work because i am excited to study the courses this term. Infact, one of the courses i am most excited about is the online course called “leadership, communication and health”.
Four. I bought new running shoes (finally) and my goal is to get back into running again. My problem when it comes to running is that i am very much “all or nothing”. I find it hard to run just 10 minutes as i think, if i am going to run i will run 45-60 minutes. But i know i need to slowly get back into running and hopefully not end up with knee or hip pain again. But also once i begin running i love it so much that i want to do it daily and that leads to injuries/pain flare up. So i am going to try build up my running gradually and not just run 110% because i can (or think i can!).
Five. I love talking to my family on the phone. I may be independent and love my alone time, but whenever i talk to my family i realise how happy it makes me feel. I need to get better and actually staying in contact with my family!
Six… an extra thought. I love learning and educating myself. I love learning about new facts and information in the areas i am interested in, but also i love learning random facts and info about all different things in life. I love hearing people talk about the things they are interested in and getting to know more about different topics i might not research or find so interesting otherwise!!