Almost a month into the new year and i was thinking about some goals that i have for 2019. Most of my goals i have decided to just keep to myself and to just work towards them in silence, but also some of the goals are just my typical goals which i have written about 101 times before. So it is nothing new or exciting to share.
However i was thinking about some other goals i want to achieve – or atleast work towards – this year. Also by writing them down and sharing them, hopefully i can motivate myself more to work towards them!
The first one is…. Be more optimistic.
I have realised i am rather pessimistic. Or well… i never think that the best will happen. I seem to have the mindset that *for me personally* things won’t work out. I always tell others not to worry or feel bad, that things will work out, and i truly believe that. But for some reason i never think things will work out for me. It is like before i even send an email or make a call i already think i will get a no or negative answer. Or whenever i do a test or send in an essay i always just think that i will fail or won’t do good… but so far that has never actually been the results.
I don’t know why i feel or think this way, but this year i want to start believing in myself and my capabilities and to start thinking more optimisitically. That things will work out, and to not hold myself back because of my pessimism.
It is also weird that i feel so pessimistic over certain things considering that i always try to think positively and have a positive mindset.
Better at take leadership/say my opinion/take choices
If you have followed me for a while you will know that i have always been bad at making decisions. Or if the decision only impacts me, then i don’t have a problem. But if i have to decide where we are going to eat, what film we are going to see, what time we meet etc i can’t seem to make that decision. The problem is that i worry too much about making the *wrong* decision, or maybe that the decision i make won’t please others. So i rather not make the decision, and as i am someone who doesn’t really mind about trivial things like what film to watch, where to eat etc it doesn’t bother me what the other person decides.
However…. not being able to make simple decisions can sometimes cause problems, not to mention it is incredibly annoying for others when i can’t just make a decision. After reading about leadership in one of my courses, i have learnt the importance of being able to take command and make decisions. And in all honesty… there isn’t always a right or wrong, and i can’t please everyone. So my goal is to get better at just making decisions!
And following up on that… i also want to be more assertive/speak my mind.
For some reason i seem to hold back my thoughts or not always say what i want.
Ex. if someone asks me my opinion on something i may just say i am neutral even if i have an opinion. Or a recent example… i was asked what topic i wanted to write about and i just said i didn’t know… when infact i did have ideas and suggestions. But for some reason i was scared to say i had ideas/suggestions. Not so sure why, but afterwards i realised i should have just spoken up….
This is something i have written about before as well, but for some reason i seem to be ashamed of the fact that i am always well prepared, that i have my work done on time and have planned, organized and am well prepared. For some reason i downplay these things and i really don’t know why.
By now my friends already know that my work is done a week before the deadline or that i always come prepared and have read up on information and notes beforehand. So they don’t really ask me if i am prepared/done with the work or not. But when they do… i just pretend like i don’t know anything, even if i do.
So this is something i really need to work on… and goes along with my low self esteem i guess and not believing in myself or my capabilities. But 2019 is the year i change that!
And lastly another goal i wanted to share is that i want to begin doing high intense/mlderate intensity training 2-3times a week. I have gotten back into a regular routine of training, however it is not always so high intense. I.e when i lift weights i barely break a sweat, but i have realised how great i feel after doing cardio and more high intensity. Both physically i.e i can breathe easier, but also 2, mentally. I have realised that cardio and high intensity training really does do more for my mental health and happiness levels than strength training/low intensity training does. However, i still LOVE strength training and the feeling of being strong, but i feel like i want to do less focus on strength training and more focus on cardio and functional training for the next while…. though if i know me, i will most likely give this up after 2 weeks haha. But hopefully not!