Dealing with low self esteem & 6 tips to increase self esteem

Self esteem defined as:

self esteem

 

Recently i have been reminded of how low self esteem i actually have…. how much it holds me back in life.

I don’t believe in myself or my capabilities. I always talk down about myself and my capabilities. Constantly say and think, i am not good enough, i can’t do it, someone else is better. Instead of giving myself reasons why i can succeed and why i am good at what i do or want to do, i instead give myself 100 reasons why i amn’t good enough and why i can’t and won’t succeed.

It is tiring to not be able to lift myself or my talents. To always feel like i am not good enough and everyone is better. It stops me from even trying because i always think, i won’t succeed and someone else out there can do it better than me.

It stops me from starting new projects. It stops me from applying to jobs. It stops me from trying new things.

This is not how i want to live my life. I want to start believing in myself. In someone compliments me i want to believe them and say thank you, not just want to hide and think they are lying.

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I want to believe in myself and stop holding myself back.

My low self esteem issues aren’t something new, i have had them almost all my life (or as far as i can remember anyway) so it is not going to take a week to solve my self esteem issues. It will be a daily thing, and to work on my self esteem… begin to lift myself, my capabilities and talents and stop holding myself back.

I must admit i am also scared of failing…… sometimes i don’t try things or i hold myself back because then i won’t have to deal with being bad or failing at something. But you know what… mistakes help you grow. You learn from mistakes. And someone who has failed and learnt and grown has so much more experience and knowledge compared to someone who never tries or always plays it safe.

You can’t always be good at everything, but you can learn, grow and get better – and that is my goal. To not be scared of failing.

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So how do you improve self esteem? Well, if i knew this i wouldn’t have self esteem issues, hahah. But the things i am going to work on are….

  1. Not compare myself. I don’t compare myself physically with others, but i do compare my talents and achievements with others. Constantly thinking others are better and more talented than me. Thinking that everyone else can achieve their goals but i can’t….. it is tiring to think this way. (Because the truth is, we can all achieve our goals! And i know this…. but i just always feel like i can’t achieve my own goals.)
  2. To not be scared to try new things or scared to fail. Begin to say yes…. who cares if i amn’t good at it, i will learn and get better, if not…. it will be a learning experience. I don’t have to be good at everything. Begin to say yes to more experiences…. if i get offers or opportunities, don’t say no just because i think i amn’t good enough… instead see it as a learning process.
  3. Stop trying to be perfect and have everything be perfect. I am a  perfectionist in some areas of my life…. not all areas, just when it comes to work and school work. And this of course can be a good thing, but at times it just makes a short process take even longer and i never feel satisfied because i feel like i could always do better. I am beginning to just settle at doing good enough…. not everything can be perfect and it doesn’t have to be either.
  4. Begin to believe in myself and the compliments i am given. If someone says i am smart – believe them. Also believe in myself…. In the past – during my recovery – i began to say nice things about myself everyday, or at least every week. To improve my self image and self esteem ,but over the years i have stopped doing this regularly. But now i want to get back to saying nice things about myself daily… to lift myself and my capabilities. To begin to believe in myself and what i can achieve. To believe i can reach my goals and not find 100 reasons why i can’t or why i shouldn’t even try.
  5. I want to stop being critical of myself and finding flaws.Once again – remind myself i am good enough and can achieve the goals i have set for myself.
  6. Change negative/belittling thoughts to more positive and uplifting ones. Instead of thinking that i amn’t good enough and won’t succeed, change those thoughts to reasons why i CAN succeed and why i AM good enough.

 

A daily mantra of: I am good enough. I can succeed. I will succeed. I can and i will.

It will be an everyday process… slowly but surely focusing on changing my mindset and thoughts. Improving my self esteem! This will hopefully stop me from doubting myself so much and begin to “Just do it”. Not hold myself back so much in life!

If you struggle with low self esteem, i suggest you join in on this and focus on some of the things i listed above as well. Or maybe you have other suggestions and tips which i can try and focus on to improve my self esteem 🙂

Let’s get more confident and begin to believe in ourselves and work hard towards our goals so we can and will succeed… but most importantly, not be scared to try or fail either – it is a learning experience!

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Talking about gratitude

Daily gratitude is something i strongly believe in, and something i believe helps with a positive mindset and a positive life.

It is so easy to miss things when they are gone and only ever really appreciate situations, people or life when times are tough and those things/times are gone. It is so easy to live life in a blur, focusing on everything you want and don’t have but forgetting to appreciate what you DO have right now. Appreciate life how it is right now, even if you want to change things. In some situations it can feel extremely tough to be grateful, at times you ask yourself why do all these negative things keep happening to me but i can promise you that thinking negatively won’t help you or help the situation. Instead maybe you can be thankful for that you wake up each morning and actually DO something to change the situation. If you just complain and don’t work towards a solution or better situation or change your mindset about the situation you won’t feel any better.

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I don’t know whether i have easier to be grateful for things in life because i have had things taken away from me and have lost things in my life. For example, because of all the different illnesses i have suffer and do suffer with i know what it’s like to not be allowed outside, to not get to see daylight, to not be allowed to move my body, not be allowed to control my day, not allowed to choose what to eat or when, not been able to breathe, not been able to wake up in the morning, not been able to appreciate life or want to live life, and so much more. But because of this, i appreciate life so much more. I am thankful that i can MOVE my body because i know what it’s like to not be allowed but also to be in so much pain that i can’t exercise. I am thankful that i can breathe and go for walks because i know what it’s like to sit in the sofa or lie in my bed and gasp for air either due to panic attacks or because of my Cystic fibrosis. I am thankful for all the small things in my life, and thankful for what i do have even if i of course like to focus on my goals and what i WANT in life. 

I can appreciate my life, appreciate different situations (if i’m in a bad situation it’s not so easy to be grateful but in the future i look back on those situations and realise i learnt and grew from them and can be thankful for that. Even if at the time i felt panicked, scared, anxioused or stressed.), but at the same time i also work towards changing the situation. For example, i can appreciate that i have an amazing apartment to live in and money each month to pay my bills and buy food, but i still work towards having my own apartment and earning more of my own money. You can appreciate your body and your health while still working towards a healthier body!

My suggestion to you all…. don’t want until things are gone until you appreciate them. Many people say, they never really appreciate being able to smell through their nose or taste food until they end up with a cold and can’t do those things.  Don’t be that person…. appreciate being able to taste food, smell different smells, move your body …. everyday!

See the positives as much as possible even if somedays the only positive is that you got to drink some tea and read a book!

Also, be grateful for the people you love and the people who make you happy in life, because you never know what could happen. So a good reminder is to never stay mad at people, or atleast forgive as much as possible to those you really care about.

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Golden milk – recipe & benefits

Golden milk is something i have seen alot of online alon with matcha lattes and unicorn toast. However golden milk is not something new to me even though i have never made or drank it myself.

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Turmeric and golden milk is often used within Ayurveda due to all the positives of turmeric (listed below), and my mum has followed ayurvedic medicine and the holistic treatment advice for as long as i can remember. Many of the health trends and all the new herbal medicines and treatments which people are taking are things ive already taken or my mum has taken 10 years ago when no one really knew about them!

So what is golden milk? Well it is some form of milk or coconut milk which is mixed with turmeric, some black pepper and some sweetner and can be drank warm or cold. As turmeric has  antibacterial properties as well as anti inflammatory and is an antioxidant it is great when you have a cold or are about to catch a cold/feel symptoms. (Source)

Turmeric is even anti microbial so can help stop the growth of bacteria and/or virus and funghi.

Turmeric is also said to have other benefits such as relieve headache, help with sleep and digestive problems as well as helps your immune system. (source)

If anything, golden milk is a warm drink which can be soothing for the throat and just comforting in winter and autumn and you can add whatever sweetner you may like if you think the turmeric taste is overpowering.

Of course, remember to not take too much turmeric just in case. In food dishes it is deemed safe however for certain individuals consuming too much turmeric can have negative effects. So stick to maybe 1 cup of golden milk a day!

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Recipe for golden milk:

  • ½-1 tsp turmeric
  • 1 cup (c.a 2,5dl) either low fat coconut milk or some form of non dairy milk (note, i am not sure how almond/cashew/nut drink will work)
  • ½ cup water
  • 2-3 black peppercorns
  • Vanilla powder (optional)
  • Optional, sweetner.

 

Warm milk and water over low heat and stir in the turmeric powder. Bring to a boil and allow to simmer for 10 minutes. This will reduce the milk to one cup. Turn off the heat and add crushed black pepper. Drink the milk hot or warm.

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*The recipe i used when i made my golden milk said to add cinnamon and coconut oil which i did, however i did not like the coconut oil in the golden milk as it formed small oil drops on the top and just left an oil taste in my mouth afterwards. So you can add coconut oil if you want, but i would skip it.

When making golden milk it can be good to add some black pepper as that increase the bioavailability of the curcumin (turmeric).