I’m an introvert and that’s ok

If i am honest….. i have many times gotten sad over the fact that i am an introvert. I have tried to be extroverted…. but it just isn’t me.

I am not someone who needs to be around people all the time.

I am not someone who needs the attention on me.

I am someone who needs my alone time. I enjoy being with my close friends who give me energy… but it also takes alot of time for people to break down those walls around me to actually become a close friend

I am not saying that all extroverts want attention or to always be around people. Everyone needs their alone time…. i just need more than others.

Of course i am more of an ambivert in recent years. Wanting to be more social, wanting to spend more time with my close friends, wanting to meet new people and not always be on my own. Not needing as much alone time as i did before. In a way, i guess the majority of people are ambivert, i.e both introverted and extroverted… even if some are just either or the other.

When i ask people to describe me… or what their first impression of me is/was, the answer is 95% of the time:

You are rather quiet. You observe before you speak and you choose your words. You are never someone who judges and i feel like i can tell you anything without being judged. You are amazing at listening.

But i also get… You are very different when i actually get to know you. You are sarcastic, joke and laugh alot when you are comfortable around people.

Of course… for me to get to that stage where i feel comfortable just being myself, being sarcastic, open and laughing… it does take a while. Which is of course why i can come across as very shy, in the background, listening…. not taking up alot of space. I don’t like small talk…. i prefer to talk about other things and meaningful things. Even if i love jokes, sarcasm and memes. I am not someone who feels the need to speak… i can walk beside you in silence and not feel awkward or feel the need to say anything… but of course, if the person i am walking beside gives of an awkward energy because they don’t like being quiet… then i also begin to feel awkward. But i like spending time with people who are ok with just being quiet sometimes… not feeling the need to fill every second with sound and talking.

What is an introvert and extrovert?

“An introvert is often thought of as a quiet, reserved, and thoughtful individual. They don’t seek out special attention or social engagements, as these events can leave introverts feeling exhausted and drained.

Introverts are the opposite of extroverts. Extroverts are often described as the life of a party. They seek out interaction and conversations. They aren’t one to miss a social gathering, and they thrive in the frenzy of a busy environment.” (Healthline)

Being introverted, having my guards up does make it hard for me to make friends… or atleast very close friends. I have alot of friends, but maybe not ones who are super close because i never really get to that stage where i let my walls down.

And this does sadden me…. sometimes i feel like i need to change. I need to change who i am. I need to change my personality and try to be someone else… someone more extroverted… someone who has lots of friends… someone who is social all the time. But on the other hand, i tell myself that this is just who i am and i should accept it….

On my recent trip, we were talking about being extroverted and introverted, and everyone else was pretty much an extrovert, even if some were more like me…. slighly held back and maybe not as open and energetic at first. However i was told that i was very introverted…. and even if i am aware of it. It saddened me…. maybe because i feel like i am really trying? And i didn’t feel like i was holding back or being shy, infact… it was the most extroverted, open, friendly and energetic i have been around others. To think that i spent 12 hours a day with a group of people and never once felt tired or drained of energy from being social, instead felt comfortable being myself…. but yet, i still came across as very introverted. They didn’t mean it in a bad way, but it made me sad…. and that was what sparked me to write this post.

To make me realize it is ok to be an introvert. I am ok the way i am. I don’t have to change or try to be anyone else. People like me the way i am… even if it takes time to truly see my personality and true self. I still socialize, i still have friends, i still enjoy meeting new people and being social. But i also want my alone time…. i don’t always have to say what i am thinking, instead sometimes i can just listen…. be someone who people want to talk to or feel like they can talk to me about anything – which is what many people say that they feel when speaking to me.

I am telling myself that i am ok the way i am.

And if you are introverted, just like me…. tell yourself the same thing, that it is ok to be an introvert. Of course… do push yourself to be social, do push yourself to meet new people. When you find the people you feel truly comfortable and yourself around, they will fill you with energy. For me personally, my closest friends and family always give me energy and i can spend hours with them without feeling drained…. Find people who love you for who you are and want to spend time with you. You may feel lonely….

Even if introverts, like myself, love their alone time… love spending time alone and just doing what you want to do. It can get lonely, or it can feel like no one really likes you because you have a small group of friends or never really open up enough to let people know the real you. But remember, try to just be yourself… try to be as open and friendly as you can be with new people. People will like you for who you are, and you don’t need to be someone else… it won’t last anyway. In the past i have tried to be someone else… put on a personality and facade that wasn’t truly me, just because i thought i needed to act a certain way to please others and make them like me. The fact is, it doesn’t work that way. Be true to yourself and accept yourself the way you are….. even if you also need to be honest with yourself and change the habits or personality traits which may be self destructive or harmful to others. I.e just saying that you are a bithco r have a hot temperament as an excuse to be rude to people is not ok… and is instead a personaity trait that can be changed or atleast controlled.

It is ok to be an introvert… we need both introverts and extroverts in society. Just don’t isolate yourself because you feel/are introverted…. you still need to push yourself to be social and step outside of your comfort zone.

My workout routine| June 2019

Recently i have been getting quite alot of questions regarding my workout routine and also people wanting different workout schedules/programs.

And well, instead of answering everyone seperatly, i thought i might as well do an update of my workout routine on here.

Regarding workout schedules and programs, i don’t personally do them… even if i have taken courses regarding exercise and planning exercise routines, i am more focused on nutrition and feel more comfortable with health coaching and nutrition plans. So for workout schedules, there are plenty of amazing people out there who have more knowledge in creating workout programs!

So how is my workout plan at the moment? Well …. my workouts go in phases.

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Sometimes i have lots of time to workout, sometimes i have little time to workout.

Sometimes i have lots of motivation to workout, othertimes i have barely any motivation to workout.

Sometimes all i want to do is lift heavy weights and other times i just want to run.

And other times all i want to do is go for walks.

After a phase of just wanting to run and go for walks, i am now back into my strength training phase and just wanting to lift weights.

It is kind of nice to vary and to be able to do different forms of exercise. Just going to the gym and lifting weights X times a week for 10 years straight doesn’t appeal to me. I need some sort of variation in my workouts so that i don’t just do the same thing over and over as that gets rather boring.

Recently i haven’t actually had that much time to workout, so i have gone to the gym around 3 times a week and other days just gone for walks. But typically i try to go to the gym every second day, so around 4 days a week works well for me in my life right now. And the days i don’t lift weights at the gym i go for walks – usually, unless i have a long 8 hour work shift then i am often too tired, as i am on my feet working for 7 of the 8 hours.

So what do i do when i lift weights/strength train? Well, i still do the typical “body builder” type of training where i workout muscle groups. I do personally think that workouts life crossfit or functional training is the most optimal… where you work your whole body and do both strength and cardio in the same workout or movements. Those exercises and workouts are more beneficial for health and function…. training biceps and triceps isn’t exactly what you need in everyday life unless you have a job where you need alot of arm strength. But typically a “Body builder” workout does build strength and muscle but is also about aesthetics.

However my goal is neither to get stronger, i.e i don’t always press myself to max to get stronger. And my goal is neither to have visible abs and boulder shoulders…. i mostly just workout for health and because i enjoy it.

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So my workouts are very much based on what i want to workout that day… i don’t have any set program i follow. Typically though in a week i would do 1 back session, 1 leg session, 1 upperbody session (i.e shoulders, biceps and triceps) and 1 cardio and abs session. And do a warm up/run/cardio when i feel like it. The schedule and exercises i do vary.. but if i just workout at the gym 2 times in a week then i would do an upperbody and lowerbody session as i like to workout all my muscle groups in one week anyway.

So that is pretty much my schedule at the moment. During summer this will change as i may be out in the sun more doing runs or walks, or if i have long work shifts i may not workout at all due to time/energy levels. I don’t usually plan my workouts beforehand either… i plan my workout when i get to the gym.

However i do usually try to plan what times/what days i can workout at the start of each week. Somedays it is early sessions before school and other days it is late sessions after dinner, all depends on what i am doing in the day. And somedays i plan to workout after lunch/after school but have things to do or am too tired and then i head home instead. And somedays i sleep past my alarm and miss my planned morning workout… that’s just life.

I make sure that my workouts are based on enjoyment and because i want to do them and never force myself to workout, however i do make sure to get some fresh air and move my body each day (as long as i am not super sick or injured). But i don’t have any minimum time i have to workout, sometimes a 20 minute walk is enough.

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So there you see my workout routine as of May/June 2019 🙂

I do want to get into more functional/crossfit style workouts again, because as i mentioned i do think they are the most beneficial, especially for health. Not to mention super fun. And in the future i would like to run some OCR/obstacle couse races such as tough mudder. And also to begin running more often/regularly and not just have it as a phase thing.

I would love to know HOW do YOU workout? What’s your workout routine? 🙂

Graduation day | Health promotion with focus nutrition

After 3,5 years at university, whereof 3 years studying health promotion with focus on nutrition, it is finally coming to an end.

These three years have gone SOO quick. Trust me, when you first begin university it may feel like a lifetime until you graduate and are done… but it will go by so quickly. Three years anyway… if you study 5 or 7 years, of course it will feel like it never ends. But even then, i have heard people who study 5 years to do a masters and say that the time at university went far too quickly.

Today is my graduation day… hopefully get my bachelors in health promotion. Though i won’t know until summer whether i have passed or not with my final bachelors essay.

In three years alot can happen. I feel like a completely different person compared to the girl i was autumn 2016 and first started the program.

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^When i moved to Gothenburg, autumn 2016^^

2016 – new start

I moved to a new city… on my own. Wanting a new fresh start.

I had only been in Gothenburg once before where i spent a two day weekend with my boyfriend at the time… and i fell in love with the city.

Moving to a new city is scary… especially when you don’t know anyone. When you don’t have any contacts and don’t know where you will live. How to travel around the city.

Read more about this HERE: moving to a new city to study| life change and 8 tips for moving to a new city

I had moved out and lived with a roommate earlier, when i was studying at Uppsala univeristy, though i just had a 60-90 minute journey back home if i wanted to see my family. Now i was going to be 4 hours away by train.

However, i have always been so independant that that never bothered me… mostly i knew i would miss my dog. Which i very much have these past 3 years.

There are alot of fears moving to a new city and starting a new university program. Would i make any friends? Would i like the program? Would i feel lonely? Would i like the new city? etc etc I had to face alot of fears and step outside of my comfort zone alot when i first started university and moved to a new city.

 

Did i always know i wanted to study this program?

I have had doubts about my program… often wondered if maybe i should study the dietititan program instead. But in the end, i am very happy i have studied this program… and i do have plans to continue studying… to learn more about coaching, psychology, eating behaviour, leadership, sports nutrition and maybe do a masters in nutrition. Three and a half years at university but i still doubt that i have enough knowledge. Or well, i know i have enough knowledge… i know that my knowledge in nutrition and exercise and health promotion is adequate and higher than the average person… but i guess i am just not done studying or learning.

I love learning…. not so much the stress involved with assignments and exams. But learning more information which i can then share with others and use to help others is what i love. So i am not done with studying, even if i am done with my bachelors.

My university program

Many people are interested in what program i studied and it was “Health promotion with focus nutrition”, and i have written some posts about what i have learnt and my thoughts about the program, HERE: & HERE, which you can read.

My overall thoughts… it is a good program. You learn information about alot of different areas from nutrition, coaching, motivational interviewing (an evidence based counselling style that is usually used when helping people to change behaviours), sports nutrition, biochemistry, health promotion and the list goes on.

Compared to the dietitian program, we have focused alot on health promotion. I.e working with healthy people to keep them healthy. Promoting health and working on “health factors” instead of so called “risk factors”. In the dietitian program they learn more about how to work with sick people and people with different diagnoses. With my knowledge i can work with people who are sick to a certain extent… however we don’t really have the right knowledge to work with nutrition advice regarding certain illnesses and then it is better that the client is sent to a dietitian with more knowledge in those areas of nutrition.

So what can I, and the others in my class work with after this program? Well… we don’t really have a license like dietitians do. However we have qualifications to work with nutrition, exercise, health, health promotion, lifestyle changes etc

Careers can vary from having your own business and doing health coaching, doing lectures, working in health care centres, working in schools, working with businesses, creating mealplans or even working with food. The list goes on…. just from the wide range of internships that people did in my class shows how many different career options there are for us.

Not to mention that there is more and more attention focused on the health for qualified healthcoaches and people focused on promoting health. More and more people are getting sick due to lifestyle related illnesses, and i definitely think people with a similar university degree/program can have a huge impact in helping people improve their health.

What happens now?

It is so crazy to think that these 3 years are over, and it does send me into slight panic mode. I must admit… i feel like i have been constantly stressed these past 3 years, hahah. Which isn’t a good thing. But i have the same feeling as i did after graduation from highschool where you are left thinking…what happens now? What do i do now? Do i work… do i study… how do i get from A to B? What am i doing with my life? Am i on the right path?

So many questions and no answers…. I don’t know where i will be in 5 years time or what i will be doing with my life, or how my life will look like then. But i don’t want to worry about it either.

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This summer my goal is to just work at the foodstore i currently work at. Focus on my social media work with my blog, instagram and YouTube. And also work on some side projects i want to try to build up. And also begin with lectures, maybe doing health coaching and also applying for nutrition/health related jobs. I don’t know how my autumn will look like… but this summer i know i just want a break from school because these past months have been stressful with school and my bachelors essay.

My advice to others:

All i can say from my experience is…. Dare to try something new. Apply to that university course or program. Dare to move to that new city. It is ok if you realize that the first course or program isnät for you… that happened to me. The first time i started university and moved away from home it didn’t turn out as expected. I didn’t make friends, i felt lonely and didn’t have any fun at university. But the second time rount it was better.

It is ok if you study 3 years and realize you hare passionate about something else. You are not a failure. You have still learnt things, gotten experience and realized what you don’t want to do.

Just dare to try. Things may not work out as planned, but that’s life.

I had to move a bunch of times before i finally got my own student apartment. I didn’t makke friends at first when i started university the seocnd time around. I have felt lonely. I have doubted my program and whether i should continue studying.

But for the majority of the time i have enjoyed studying and enjoyed my university experience.

Also, i am so thankful that in Sweden it is free to study. Of course, i have taken a student loan to be able to afford to pay rent/food/etc and not have to work fulltime as well as study… but atleast i don’t need to pay to actually go to unversity, which i am very thankful for.

So… this long post finally comes to an end. All i can say is that i am so happy to finally graduate and have my degree *hopefully*… but at the same time i really don’t feel ready and like time has gone too quick.

Also, i know i haven’t written so many personal posts recently… i used to share my monthly goals and life updates… but with all the school and work stress i have had recently i stopped doing that. But i felt i atleast wanted to share this update in my life 🙂 For those of you who have followed me for the past few years 🙂 And hopefully you will stick around for the next few years as well!

 

Why am I not blogging anymore?

Not sure how to start this post… with hello?

Over the last few weeks i have been getting quite a few messages from people wondering why i am no longer blogging on here… or why it is mostly recipes.

First off, it is lovely to hear that you care and miss my posts… it does mean alot!

And well, the short answer to the question is…there is no time.

But if i am honest with myself, that is not the real or full answer. Sure, not having alot of time left for blogging is definitely one of the reasons i haven’t been able to blog. But if i truly wanted to blog, i would make time for it. If i can write and share recipes, then i should be able to write a few non recipe related posts as well?

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However, i just haven’t been motivated or inspired. There hasn’t been any creativity left for blog posting recently. Haven’t known what to write about, and sometimes it feels like i end up just writing about the same things over and over.

Many want to read more about eating disorder recovery posts, and i understand that. But it also feels a little like i have done that in the past, and one of the reasons for changing blogs was to not write so much about it. Sure, i still want to help and share advice posts… but i am also trying to do that in video format on my YouTube at the moment. (My channel, HERE).

It also feels like i have written so many posts about eating disorder recovery, shared all the advice i could and it is easier to just refer to old posts instead of writing new ones.

And with nutrition posts, which have also been requested… well i just haven’t known what to share. I’ve been stuck in a battle of… what could i share that isn’t already available online? As well as feeling…How much free information can i give away? For the past 10 years i have been blogging for free, so much time and energy dedicated to writing blog posts, sharing advice, answering emails and of course… helping people is SO MUCH MORE important than money. But there also comes a time when I have to realise that i can’t give away all the information i learn at my university course and from all the hours spent studying… because in the end, why would anyone want to hire me as a health coach or a lecturer(?) or even to buy ebooks from me if everything is already available online for free? I hope that makes sense! Of course… that doesn’t mean i will never write nutrition or advice posts again… most of all i just need to find inspiration again and find my creativity.

For those of you who don’t know, i am writing my bachelors thesis right now which is taking up the majority of my time. Preparing, reading articles, writing, rewriting things and the list goes on. And then on top of that i am also trying to keep creating recipes and content for my IG and on here (recipes anyway) and trying to post a YouTube video a week… even if that isn’t always possible as editing can take 8-10 hours and i don’t always have the time for it. And then on top of that i work some evenings and weekends… and somewhere inbetween i want to try to meet friends and have a social life, work out and also get time to clean my apartment, do laundry and actually just watch series.

Somedays it can feel like i don’t actually get any time for myself or that i am working on something from 8am to 10pm. And otherdays… i am so exhausted mentally and have 0 creativity or motivation.

Of course i must admit… i sometimes feel bad about the fact that there are people out there who are running businesses while also writing their bachelors thesis (or even masters – which is much tougher), people who can actually post several youtube videos a week while going to Uni or writing their thesis essay.. and people doing so much more than me while still able to do their Uni work. And it makes me feel bad… like i should be doing so much more. Why can’t i also run a business or post several YouTube videos a week and still do everything else i do… or why can’t i just write a few extra blog posts a week.

However, i am trying to remind myself that we are all different. And adding more to my plate isn’t going to help me. I am already incredibly sensitive to stress and easily get anxiety when i have too much on my plate… so even if i want to do more and often feel like i am not doing enough or good enough, i also need to realise there is only so much i can do without breaking down.

Anyway… so that was the long post as to why i am not really sharing so much on here right now. My goal is to be more active on Youtube and try to show more of my personality and to also sharing some advice and inspirational videos on there.

And in time, i do hope to start blogging on here again and sharing more than just recipes. But i hope you all understand why it has been a little empty here recently. Just trying to balance everything in my life and figure things out!

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Aware but not obsessed? | Organic, plastic free, locally produced food?

The previous day i shared on my Instagram story wondering how people thought about

  1. buying local or knowing where the food they buy from actually comes from
  2. and also about organic vs. nonorganic, considering that organic food is often wrapped in plastic.

So recently i have begun thinking about these two topics. I was shocked when i began to read where some of the food i buy – mostly fresh produce – comes from. I.e i have never really thought about the fact that certain root vegetables which can be grown in Sweden, are still imported from other countries. This may of course be obvious for others.

Foods grown in sweden.

And of course i am aware that certain foods and fresh produce can’t be grown or produced in Sweden and so they are imported. If each country were to only sell locally produced food then there would only be like 1 or 2% of the food left in the stores and it would most likely not economically go together. Considering that important and export of food/produce creates alot of money.

Not to mention that you would never really get to try any new or different foods if you were to only buy and eat local foods.

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I also asked about peoples opinions on organic vs. non-organic produce. I buy organic when i can, but it is not my main priority when i go food shopping. I am not so worried about the pesticides on the inorganic produce. Now a days the toxicity/danger of consuming them is very little and has less environmental impact as they once did when they contained more dangerous substances. However, of course the organic pesticides or biorational pesticides have a lot less impact on the environment and less substances that may be unhealthy for humans.

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Of course it is all about dosage... the more fresh vegetables and fresh produce which have been sprayed with pesticides which you eat, the higher the dose. So if you eat alot of fresh produce then choosing organic may  be better. Example if you eat alot of raw food. But if you eat fruits and vegetables in a rather “average” way, then there doesn’t seem to be a risk or problem.

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However certain items such as bananas, coffee and chocolate, it is good to choose fair trade and organic for the sake of the workers, as the chemicals used on the inorganic are very dangerous and the working situations not good at all. So i try to buy fairtrade of these items when i can. And if organic food is just a little bit higher in price – but nothing extreme – then i will choose it when i can.

I do want to start becoming more aware of where the fresh produce i buy comes from. Especially when it comes to foods that can be grown in Sweden. I know that example avocados, bananas as well as beans and lentils can’t be grown or produced in Sweden, but i still want to eat them on a weekly basis.

Basically… i want to become more aware, but not obsessed.

Which brings me to the main point of this post.

For someone who has had a past with a restrictive eating disorder, it could be easy for me to become “too aware” or “too obsessed” and want to suddenly only eat local and organic vegan food. To begin cutting out food because i have become too aware. This of course is not the case.

I wrote about these topics because they were on my mind and something i never really considered before, and well it is something i want to think about and make more active choices when i can. But i won’t let it completely control my food choices or how i eat either.

In the end, eating imported lentils and beans has alot less environmental impact than eating meat or dairy, and that is what matter for me. I may not be able to eat the most environmentally friendly diet, but just eating plantbased/living vegan is enough for me. And the extra things like local and organic is when i can.

My aim is to not give anyone anxiety or put pressure on people to “be perfect” or always make the “best” choice. But instead to raise awareness, and from that awareness you can make your own choices. Just like with knowledge… if you don’t have the knowledge or awareness to make certain choices, then you won’t know. But if you have the knowledge and awareness then you can atleast make a choice.

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And like i said… you shouldn’t let these things control your life, especially not if you are/Have struggled with an eating disorder, then just eating is good enough. (Which is also one of the reasons i don’t recommend eating fully plant based if you are in recovery from an eating disorder, because the main thing is to just be able to eat without guilt or restrictions, and in the future when you are mentally and physically healthy you can begin to eat more plant absed if you still want to!).

This was just my thoughts on the topic, and if you have any thoughts regarding these topis comment down below!