We are our own worst critics: Personal thoughts

It’s funny how i can look at pictures of others and always think they look amazing. I never see flaws or anything wrong, i just see the beauty in others but can struggle to do the same with myself.

I don’t like seeing myself on photos or on camera. I have found that since posting photos of myself on my Instagram i have also become more critical of myself…. i can’t just post “whatever” photo of myself. Instead i need to sit and choose the right one. I don’t edit myself, i just fix the light and contrast, but i don’t photoshop myself. Infact i don’t think i have ever done that in any of the photos of myself – but lighting and posing does play a roll when it comes to certain images and angles.

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I don’t like this critical side of myself. When i take 20 pictures and amn’t happy with any of them – just seeing all the things wrong with every picture. Either it’s my hair, my smile, my hands, my nose…. something wrong with all the pictures. When instead i could think… this is just how i look.

I can not compare myself to edited pictures of others.

I don’t find social media negative, not in the way i have used it. I haven’t found myself negatively affected, but i do find that this critical self that comes out when i post a picture of myself is not good or helpful.

I know i am not alone in feeling this way….  Example, whenever i take group photos with friends all of us just end up looking at ourselves – finding flaws and saying that everyone else looks good but that you don’t. In the end, there is always someone unhappy with the picture.

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I think what most people dislike about seeing themselves on camera is that a camera catches a second of reality. You see yourself in a way that you usually don’t considering that when you look in the mirror it is just a reflection. But also you may see yourself form angles you aren’t used to example from the side or from other angles, and that can make you think “do i really look like this?”.

The thing is, no one sees you in just one second pictures… people see the whole you. You in reality when moving and alive, and a picture can’t capture that.

I wish i could give some good advice, but the best is to just get comfortable infront of the camera. But also when posting pictures, try to careless about the perfect picture and just try to get a realistic and real life picture. Those are usually the best anyway according to me.

Also realise that no one really cares…. we often get caught up in our own pictures and how we look, when most people won’t even see the small things we get caught up on.

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But also unfollowing accounts that may make you feel bad about yourself and your body/appearance. If you feel yourself constantly comparing or feel like you need to look like them or have perfect pictures like them then maybe the best thing is to unfollow them. If they cause you negativity instead of inspiration then maybe it is time to unfollow.

Learn to love yourself and i guess just learning to see yourself more on camera and get comfortable with it is a good way to overcome the critic. But also just accept the way you look and that yes…. in some photos you will be caught from angles that you aren’t used to seeing yourself in and that is ok. You are only human and you don’t need to look like a photoshopped picture 24/7.

And this advicse is all meant for myself as well, of course! If you have any other tips or advice, comment below!! 🙂

10 tips to increase your confidence

Put I found these tips from HERE, and i thought  they were too good to not share on here. 10 tips that i need to remember myself!!

Some of my best tips to increase confidence are, to fake it till you make it. Sometimes you ust have to put on your best outfit and try to fake confidence even if you may not feel completely comfortable or in your zone.

But also to take care of yourself from the inside out… to love yourself from the inside out. 

Put on a smile, and even if you don’t feel 100% confident… accept that but push through and try anyway!

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1. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are totally unique, and have different talents, abilities and strengths.

2. Never criticise or put yourself down. There are plenty of others who will do that for you. You need to be your biggest, and you greatest, fan. Be understanding, gentle and kind to yourself.

3. Consciously accept every compliment you get and see them as accurate and genuinely meant. Don’t brush them off as stupid, wrong, or meaningless.

4. Keep affirming yourself until it changes how you feel. It may feel false at first when you say something like “I accept myself completely– and believe I’m valuable”. But as you constantly repeat it you’ll find that, over time, you do accept and value the person that you are.

5. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people. If you hang out with people who always put you down, and never seem to like or approve of your ideas, then you’ll soon stop believing in yourself as well (and it will also crush your creativity).

6. Make a list of your successes and accomplishments – like playing an instrument, learning how to cook, passing an exam, graduating from high school, or getting into college, or receiving an award. Review this list often – and be proud of yourself!

7. Make a list of your positive qualities and traits. Are you an honest, reliable and caring friend? Do you make time for others? Do you try to do your best? Again, review this list often, and get into the habit of focusing on your positive qualities and traits.

8. Spend your time doing things that you are good at, and enjoy. We become more alive when we’re doing things we love – and that naturally increases our self-confidence (as we’re being our true selves and not just acting out a role).

9. Get involved. If you sit on the sidelines and avoid all challenges then you won’t be able to achieve much in life. But if you push through the feelings of anxiety and fear, then you’ll grow, be successful, and have higher self esteem.

10. Be true to yourself; live a life that’s really “you”. Don’t let other people decide what you should do, or what is best for you, or who they think that you should be. You only have one life – choose your own path – just be you!

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Try and fail but don’t fail to try – motivation booster

My motto right now – when it comes to life and trying to tackle my low self esteem is…. “try and fail but don’t fail  to try.”

I have been stuck in the – not even trying incase i fail. Giving myself 101 reasons why i can’t and won’t succeed or why i shouldn’t do something.

Yesterday i overheard a conversation where one person said to the other (well not this exactly, haha i have extended it a little)…. “Why not just do it? What do you have to lose? Why wouldn’t you be good enough, you need to at least try”.

And even if the person wasn’t talking to me it was like a kick of motivation which i needed…. Why not me? Why not send in the job application even if i think i amn’t good enough or think i won’t get the job. It doesn’t hurt anyone to send it in and even if all the places say no, at least i tried… and unless i try i won’t know. If i keep holding myself back i will never be good enough.

Life isn’t about always doing the same thing over and over and always being comfortable. Sometimes you just have to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new and different – what do you have to lose.

If you have nothing, or very little to lose then why not try….. Or even sometimes if you have alot to lose, it is still worth it to try. Because even if you do “Lose” or things go wrong, it is a learning experience and you will grow from it one way or another.

So the motto/mantras i am repeating to myself right now is, “just do it”, “fu*k it” and “try and fail but don’t fail to try”

And just reminding myself, Why not me? Why wouldn’t I be good enough? Why wouldn’t I be able to succeed? If others can do it, so can I….

Also, feeling like i need to fake till i make it. Even if i don’t 100% believe in myself or my capabilites, i can atleast pretend i do and someday i will 100% (or close to 100%) believe in myself and my capabilities and believe that i can succeed… but atleast for now i can just fake it till i make it!

So i hope this can be a little motivation booster for you as well if you need it. Just try….. Whatever it is you want to do or are dreaming of. Try. Yes you may fail or things might not go as planned, but it will solve itself one way or another. You will learn and grow from it. You will find new ways.

Life is about stepping outside of your comfort zone and if you want something different to happen then you have to do something different. But most of all… work for it. Work towards your goals!

I am not always 100% motivated, but right now i just want to succeed in all areas of my life and stop holding myself back to much!

 

Comparing lifestyles – feeling like you are not doing enough

I recently got a message which i felt i needed to address and write about – i think i have written about it before – but it doesn’t hurt to mention it again.

I was asked, how did i have the energy to both spend a whole day studying, maybe workout, and then come home and meal prep for almost 2 hours. And the person felt like they could barely do one of those things each day and felt like a failure because i was doing so much in a day.

I get similar messages like this and i think it is so important to talk about. First off – don’t compare your life or your day to mine. I don’t show you my whole day on social media, i just show bits of it. I also don’t show the days i do absolutely nothing… the days i just lie in bed and watch series.

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I am a very productive person and as i have written on my blog before it is not always a good thing. Infact it leads to me feeling stressed and like i am not doing enough despite doing alot more than an “average” person. I feel like i always have to be effective and working and this isn’t always a good mindset…. so i am trying to teach myself to rest more. You may see someone who works alot or is always productive/doing things, but that has it’s negatives as well….  I guess the quote, you always want what you don’t have is true. (I.e i wish i had the ability to rest more and not feel like i am not good enough if i amn’t productive.)

The important thing to keep in mind is that everyone is different. People have different lifestyles, different energy levels and different things going on in their life. Like i usually remind many of my followers is that they shouldn’t compare their exercise amount to “fitness people” online. Because for fitness people, it is their job to workout and post it on social media… they have the time to go to the gym twice a day and often their body shape is part of their job. Whereas someone who is studying full time or working 2 jobs or just someone who is struggling with mental illness and constantly tired doesn’t have that energy or time to workout so often – so you can’t and shouldn’t compare.

I have plenty of days where i do nothing and rest – you can’t always be productive. But like i mentioned, this isn’t shown on social media. I have times i compare my life with people online or even my close friends thinking… wow they are social, they have so much energy, wow they are doing so much each day and here i am barely left the house. But comparison won’t bring you anything good, it will just make you feel bad about yourself.

 

Instead be motivated but also realistic. Just because others are always doing things or it seems like others are always social or always working out or always studying doesn’t mean you have to do that as well. It is your life and you need to live it the way you want to. Also important to note that if you are struggling with depression or anxiety or other mental illnesses which affect your energy levels and overall life motivation then you just need to be kind to yourself and accept that somedays just surviving is an achievement. Not everyday has to be productive, sometimes just getting out of bed is the achievement for the day and that is ok.

So focus on your life and don’t compare yourself to others. I know it can be hard, but it is important to remember and not get caught up in what others are doing or not doing.

Also, when it comes to energy levels… eating enough and having a healthy diet is key. The times i don’t eat enough or the times i am stressed or have an unbalanced diet then my energy levels plummet. So the days i do alot and work/study 12 hours are always the days i eat alot of food and have alot of energy both physically and mentally! So if you feel you are lacking in energy ask yourself if maybe you need to eat more, eat different or if it is maybe to stress less or sleep more or a combination of all of them!

Focus on yourself and your life!!!
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Thinking that weightloss or diets will make you happier

Hello,

So I thought it was time to share a more personal post about how I’ve been feeling. The past 2 weeks I’ve been on antibiotics, something I don’t willingly take. Infact taking anti biotics is something I try to avoid at all costs and try alternative methods and pills first, however this time when I got sick and had 2 different bacteria in my lungs I had no other option but to take antibiotics and I’m thankful for them because they do work…. they kill the bacteria, however they also kill the good gut bacteria. And even if I take probiotics it can take 6-12 months before all the good but bacteria is replenished.

Having good gut bacteria is so important as it can impact so much such as your energy levels, hunger and cravings, mood, sleep, you can end up with Candida infection etc and I’ve noticed that each time I take anti biotics it impacts my mental health negatively as well as it messes up my stomach and I feel more tired and unmotivated.  But the worst is how it makes me think and feel so negative…. I feel tired, unmotivated , get negative and depressive thoughts, feel negative about myself and my body. This is something i notice each time i have had to take antibiotics which is one of the main reasons i try to avoid them, because i know they end up affecting my mental health negatively.

These past 2 weeks i have been extremely bloated, had stomach pain and nausea and just had very bad body image. Usually bloating and water retention is nothing that bothers me because i know it happens and nothing i can really control. Sometimes bloating lasts 2 days, other times a whole week but it always goes away and i don’t let it control my thoughts or my day. But now when i was feeling generally low and negative the bloating got to me alot more and i began thinking, Maybe i should go on a diet… am i eating too much? Do i need to lose fat.

Of course i was quickly able to realise just how destructive and ridiculous those thoughts were. I am at a healthy weight, BMI and fat percent and nothing needs to change about that. But also the past 1,5 year my weight has stayed the same meaning that i am eating enough to maintain my healthy weight as well as all my blood results showing a healthy amount of all vitamins and minerals so nothing about my diet needs to change. But just for a short moment i thought weightloss and a diet would make me feel better about myself…. when in reality, i know it is just hormones and antibiotics affecting my thoughts and feelings. Luckily i could realise how irrational and ridiculous those thoughts were that going on a diet or eating less wouldn’t make me feel better about myself or make me feel happier.

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And i can say, i have now been off anti biotics for a few days and taking a high dose (but still a healthy dose !) of pro biotics and i am already feeling more like myself again. More energetic, my appetite is more like usual and the negative thinking and feeling isn’t as bad as it was a few days ago.

I am lucky that i can think one step further than just “how i feel right now”, and instead analyze why i am feeling that way. I could have just decided right there and then that i should diet and lose weight because i “felt bad in my body”…. but when you think one step further you begin to question why you think you need to lose weight. Would it really make you happier, would it really make you healthier?

So many people think that weightloss and a diet will make them happier, but if the problem is in your head then weightloss won’t do anything but make you lighter and may even make your mental health worse. Of course for those who are overweight and medically need to lose weight then it’s another thing, but if you are normal weight and think that weightloss will make you happier then you need to question why you think that way.

So why am i sharing this post? I could have kept these thoughts to myself and not tell anyone, but i am sharing them to show that i am only human. I may be body positive and 95% happy in my body, but there are times like this when i feel negative about and in my body and think about going on a diet or losing weight… and for just a few moments thinking that weightloss or being skinny would make me happy. But i am also very good at questioning why and thinking one step further and asking myself why i think that way and what is the real reasoning behind those thoughts and most often it is tiredness, hormones or stress and when i am feeling very tired and run down and my body feels heavy, slow and bloated. But then the best thing to do is sleep, drink lots of water, eat lots of nourishing food, try to destress and get out for walks in nature and then i am soon back to my normal thoughts and feel good in my body again!

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usually it is not your body or the way your body that looks that is the problem but the way you feel and what is going on in your head. Take a moment to ask yourself, are you stressed, anxious, tired, nervous? Have you eaten enough, slept enough, exercised? Have you drunk enough water and had time to relax? Have you taken your medication and pills? If you are feeling negative about your body try go out for a walk or listen to some good music or do something you love and just “use” your body.  Often if you are feeling tired, heavy and slow it can cause negative body image thoughts or feelings, and then it can be helpful to try to just use your body a little more, try to find energy even if it’s just a 20 minute walk it can be helpful in appreciating your body or sometimes just stretching can be helpful to feel less ‘tight’.

Anyway, i felt the need to share these thoughts with you to show that i am human and we all have bad days or negative body image thoughts but it is important to not let them control you. To ask yourself what really matters and if weightloss really will make you happy or healthier. Also note, if the answer is yes, that weightloss will make you happier and healthier and be a positive factor in your life… then go for it. Weightloss doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but you have to have the right reasons for it. I.e if you are BMI 18 and you think you are “too fat” and think you need to lose 5kg, then no… that is not weightloss for the right reasons.

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**Also, i think i have written a post about taking medication as a vegan, but i can write one again if you want. Because no, medications aren’t vegan or cruelty free, but it doesn’t make you any less of a vegan just because you need to take medications.